Feelings at Hope House

Work has been tough the past couple days. I've found myself easily annoyed by the kids and intolerant of little, insignificant things that they do. I am trying so hard to be patient, but find myself so caught up in screaming kids and dirty diapers, that I forget to focus on loving them to my full potential. I wish that I would never be angry with them, because I truly do adore every one of them. I wish that I could find a way to take little breaks throughout the day, in order to regain strength, but I can't. I feel so privileged that I am getting the opportunity to be with these children and yet sometimes I forget just how lucky I am when I feel stretched paper thin by them. How, I wonder, can I find a balance? How can I mentally step back from the children when they're frustrating me so that I can remember, despite their imperfections, that I love them?
Yesterday I walked into the older baby's (6 months- 1 year) bedroom and found that the 9 month old twins, Enoch and Esther, were not in their cribs. I asked where they were and was told that they had been adopted yesterday evening after we had left work. I felt sad and ecstatic at the same time. I had met the couple that was looking at them a week or so ago and they were really amazing people. Yet I realized that I will most likely never see Enoch again, a baby who I fed almost everyday since I've been here, and who's boisterous laugh has brought me to tears. His 4 baby teeth will never chew on my apron again, and when he's tired, he'll be leaning on someone else's chest for comfort.
There is a range of emotions that hit me at various points throughout the work day. The feelings of frustration are always outweighed by the feelings of joy. The feelings of sadness that these kids were "unwanted" are outweighed by the feelings of excitement, that though their biological parents have given these kids up, other wonderful, loving people are working everyday to fill the gap that is caused by abandonment.