Saying Goodbye

It’s strange having to say goodbye to a place, the things that have been familiar with for some time, which will now become foreign once again. The walk from our home to work every morning, the red dust paths which ran parallel to the bustling streets, the matatu drivers on the corner, the guard at the entrance of Hope House, the Australian couple we saw walking passed Hope House on days we were running late, the smells, the sounds. Yet what make places, I’ve found, are the people who you associate those places with. There were so many goodbyes today, and too many people I think I’ll never see again.
After taking the kids to a park in the morning, and feeding them lunch, it was time for a nap and it was my job to get them washed and tucked in. It was the hardest task I’ve been given yet at Hope House. Tucking them in meant saying goodbye to them all, for when they woke, I would be gone. They asked me where I was going, and as I thought about a way to explain to them that there is a world beyond their small neighborhood, I began to cry. I told them it was because I would miss them, which was of course the truth. Yet what I think I was really crying about was their futures. Hope House has showed me that there are wonderful places for young, abandoned kids to grow up, yet what happens beyond Hope House is what makes me nervous. My dear Wyclef is three and a half and will be going to a new home when he turns four. He will be moved to a new place, where his enormous heart and unbelievable intellect will stun all those around him, in the same way they’ve stunned me. Yet will he be nurtured there? Will he have the chance to pursue his dreams, whatever they may be? As I lay between Wyclef’s and Timo’s bed, watching them smile, laugh and fall asleep for the last time, I realized that they have become a part of me that I will always be present. Wyclef’s sharp giggle will always bring about a smile wherever I am. What I hope is not that they remember me, but they remember how much I loved them, how much everyone at Hope House loved them, and I know that this genuine love can last forever.